Exciting news!!!

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank you all so much for sponsoring me and making it possible for me to continue in this work that allows me to share the gospel through the tasks I do daily with children who so badly need to know that someone loves them.

I have been working in the mission fields of Honduras since I was almost seventeen years old.  I have thoroughly enjoyed it and been blessed in doing it.  In June 2012 I began my mission work with Reach Out Orphanage Ministries (ROOM) by serving at Mama Tara’s Orphanage in Puerto Lempira.  Mama Tara’s is filled with lots of loving, amazing children that work hard every day to not only survive, but also educate themselves.  I volunteered at this great orphanage for several months.  When another volunteer arrived at Mama Tara’s Orphanage I began working at House of Hope, a nearby orphanage providing rehabilitation, evangelization and education of handicapped and malnourished children in the indigenous region known here as La Moskitia.

My time spent at Mama Tara’s will always be remembered with fondness in my heart.  After working more and more with the children at House of Hope, ROOM and I believe the best fit for me to serve our Lord and His children is to switch my sponsorship from Reach Out Orphanage Ministries (ROOM) to Send Hope (the parent organization of House of Hope).  This change will take place on December 10^th, 2013.

I am extremely excited to become a full-time missionary with Send Hope!  Send Hope, the founding organization of House of Hope, primarily serves handicapped and malnourished children.  The director, Katrina Engle, has been a missionary for twenty-three years and I believe I can learn a great deal from her and her amazing family.  Send Hope has invited me to work as a full-time volunteer at House of Hope indefinitely.

Again, I am thankful for your past support and I am hopeful you will continue to sponsor my missionary work through Send Hope.  Send Hope has a different process of tracking donations than ROOM, so I will be able to send regular thank you letters and express my appreciation for all you do to support my work.  I apologize that I was not able to do this through ROOM.  For more information on Send Hope you can visit their website:www.send-hope.org.

As of December 10^th I will no longer receive support through ROOM.  I ask that you begin sending your support for my work to Send Hope.  Their mailing address is:  

Send Hope

720 E. Main St., Ste B., 

Allen, TX 75002

House of Hope is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.  All donations are tax-deductible.  Please be sure to write “Courtney Knewasser” in the memo field of your check so your support goes towards my work and not Send Hope’s general fund account.

If you have any questions feel free to send me an email at courtneymission@gmail.com, or send me a facebook message.

Love,

Courtney Knewasser

Pedro

         I know it's been a while since I've written-I was in the States for 6 weeks but now I am back and boy do I have a story to share! Pedro's story-Pedro is a boy who had cancer in his leg and needed it removed. House of hope paid for him to travel to San Pedro Sula for his surgery and now he is living here in House of Hope so he doesnt have to stop going to school. Also now that Pedro is missing a leg he cant do things for himself and his parents can't take care of him as well as House of hope can. After his surgery he went home and his parents couldnt even get him to the hospital to have his stitches removed. So this morning Pedro and I went to the hospital-they looked at hit nub and they said he needs lay down and you need to hold him. The stitches were suppose to be out 2 weeks ago so they were under skin in some places. He hops up on this mattress with no sheet and lays back and I hold his hands and arms more for support than pressure. There is no power in the hospital at the moment so they use a cell phone for light but they did have gloves, a new sterile kit and she wiped his leg with a alcohol wipe that's all that matters at the moment.

The first stitch wasnt bad it was where she could grab hold without going in his skin-we are all smiles. Second, third and forth a little wince but some movement so I had to put some pressure to hold him still.  Fifth, sixth and seventh there was a little blood she had to go deeper with the tweezers to get the stitch up. Tears start to flood Pedro's eyes down his cheek and mix with the sweat pouring from his face and more squeezing...promises were made for drinks and snacks. Eighth and ninth he lets out a little squeal that only we could hear and he quickly holds his breath so another one doesnt escape because you don't show pain here. Tenth was deep, she took a break for Pedro and her-the nurse spoke to Pedro in Miskito and then she went in and got it out. Eleventh and twelfth were easy and that beautiful smile was back on Pedro's face. He sat up and they wiped it again with alcohol and my hand got one more tight squeeze. He looked at me and I said ready? School is better than this isnt it? He said yes but my coke first please and everyone started to smile and laugh.

3 weeks later...

Pedro is doing amazing!! He is going everywhere with his handcart or on crutches and he also loves going swimming on Sundays with the group. We had some children making fun of him but we worked that out real quick. Pedro is getting more comfortable but still having pains where he has no leg so please be praying about that for him. Also if you are interested in helping please consider going to the Send Hope web page and donating because without Send Hope Pedro would not have been able to travel or get the surgery.

Now on to new about me as some of you already know I came back to Puerto Lempira for my second year and did not move to San Pedro Sula. I am living in House of Hope as a full-time volunteer. I have been posting tons of pictures of what we do here with the children and I hope you all have enjoyed them!!

My next update will be sooner :)

Life as I know it is about to change at least for a month and I am excited!!!

So for the past month and a half I have been serving my fellow missionaries here and I have never felt more rewarded. As most of you know I LOVE children and I LOVE God and so I put those tow together and I show all the children I come into contact with God's love. I try and model Jesus like behavior as much as I know how but don't get me wrong sometimes I am drained and just want to be alone. Wanting to be alone is a new feeling for me, I have never wanted time alone because I never found being alone enjoyable. But I am realizing being alone is God's favorite time to work on me, to show me his love and to restore me.

In my everyday routine I wake up at 5:30 and do my quiet time-I am a talker out loud to the Lord, sometimes I am listening to music and sometimes I am just reading so I don't feel alone.

I walk out my door to a beautiful boy Aaron who is just waiting to tell me something, ask me something and show me some kind of treasure he has found. Our taxi truck pulls up with 2 sets of twins who are smiling at me and just waiting till get to school and off the truck so they can tackle me with hugs, kisses and sometimes just talking me wrapping their arms and legs around me laughing.

I volunteer for another woman for is running the preschool and living at the Mama Tara's Orphanage and she is out there al the time. So she separated from the rest of us in town so she misses talking in english and hanging out so she is just waiting for me to interact with her.

From 8am till 3pm I am surrounded by beautiful and amazing children of all ages who just want my attention or love. One of my main jobs in the pre-school is the art center and I LOVE art...I love watching children create art. One of the most beautiful things in life for me is watching children do art for the first time. A child experiencing paint, scissors or glue with their little hands for the first time is a sight I hope to see for the rest of my life. The smile that grows on their little faces is a sight that stops time and reminds me of Jesus' LOVE. In that moment I am being blessed more than I could ever think I would be by little hands doing art.

I put my iPod on and I walk to House of hope and there I am again surrounded by beautiful and amazing children who just want some part of me. And then throw in a Charlie and it becomes a love fest!!

I finish my day most of my time at another missionaries home with their family-I love family, I love how a house is full, loud and always in motion...just the the 2 orphanages I go to.

But....

Today, today I went to bible study in the morning and then out to get a special treat with Aaron who had a wonderful morning. And then I didn't want to leave my house...I felt drained, I needed to be alone. At first I hated it but then I started to write, read and plan.

I am planning my month of June, in June I will be moving in House of hope for the month to volunteer. They don't have a volunteer me not having children can help out. And with my friend Samantha coming she can help and have an amazing experience living in a orphanage. In June we will be helping with groups, waking up and putting children to bed, watching babies and serving wherever we are needed. It is about to be a crazy and busy month but FUN and I am excited so the way I see today was important for me to take the opportunity to be alone because starting June 1st I might not get another one!!!

R.O.O.M has a new address!!

The Preschool starting back up after a 3 week break, babysitting for my fellow missionary again for a week and getting another horrible parasite. It has been a crazy month since I've written and will be posting a new blog this weekend but I wanted to update R.O.O.M's address for all of you.

PO BOX 5882
Concord NC 28027

Thank you for continuing to support me in my mission to love God's children!!

For the past 10 days I've had the chance to walk in the shoes of another missionary while she is in the States. She is a single mother to 3 children she is in the middle of adopting and has a feeding program twice a week for 50 children. Also she tries to help anyone who knocks on her door and sometimes it seems like there is someone always knocking. Between 3 children all under 4 years old and a stranger always asking for something I don't know how she does it-always has a smile and always willing to bake you something when you come over for a visit. All I can think is God gives single mother's especially on the mission field a little more patience, a little more Grace and a lot more love to share. I am not ready to be a mother at all is what this experience is showing me especially not in a 3rd world country...

So far I have given away her infant to another missionary woman who is older and misses having children around her home. I am learning to except help and take this as a blessing that this woman is willing and able and its ok if someone else can do it when you aren't able.

All the of us have contacted scabies from somewhere-cream was put on. Clothes, sheets and towels were washed. And we were worried about me bringing lice into her home, who would have guessed her children would be giving me scabies instead.

But I must say the thing that makes me know that this young single mom is truly blessed by God is she never complains and if I was being woken up by a toddler who has managed to get poop all over himself and his pack n play at 5am I would be complaining, actually I did complain. lol But the that toddler says your name and giggles and smiles so big you forget all about having to clean the mess up.

And the thing that has blessed me the most is having the opportunity to do her ministry while she is gone. Her ministry has about 50 children in it and they are all sponsored by someone in the States for the feeding program, birthday and Christmas gifts. During the feeding program the children go swimming at the lagoon, eat lunch and then hear the bible and then answer questions for prizes.

I see Jesus in my everyday life here so much I am not ever really surprised by it I just smile and my heart gets the most amazing feeling. During the feeding program I was keeping an eye on the kids in the water and the toddler on the blanket in the shade behind me. At one point I turn around and there is a boy about 12 and his little brother about 3 sitting with the toddler. The 3 year old was holding his cup for the toddler to drink and the older boy was holding him on his lap and reading the bible to them. That moment made the cleaning up the poop, scabies and not sleeping thru the night all disappear-my heart was smiling so big for that moment I couldn't think about anything else.

So I might not have the patience of a single mother or the grace of one either but I have been blessed in so many ways during this time getting to serve a single mother.

I wasn't raised by Mama Tara...

I wasn't raised by Mama Tara and laid upon her breast like her children who were born to her...
I wasn't raised by a child of Mama Tara who was brought over for visits and made fond memories with...
I wasn't raised by Mama Tara because she saved me from a Mama who couldn't feed me, didn't want me or because my Mama died...

But I was able to witness who was- how wonderful, amazing and a blessing it was to be raised by Mama Tara.
She helped freely, she loved openly and she taught what it looks like to walk in Jesus' footsteps everyday.
I wasn't raised by Mama Tara or built many memories with her.

But I was welcomed by her with open arms, I was shown her golden heart as she sat outside with her children. I was inspired to follow in Jesus' footsteps as she did everyday. I pray I continue to grow into a woman like Mama Tara. To help without a second thought, to share my faith carefree and to love as Jesus loved.

I wasn't raised by Mama Tara but in the few months I knew her I never saw her without her bible. The children never ate a meal without praying first. Everyone of her children have a bible, they go to church every Sunday and they are read to every night from the bible. Mama Tara was the kind of Christian we dream of being, the kind of Christian I learn so much from just by being in her presents and listening to her talk about how God has done so much for her, her home and for her children. I am thankful I got a chance to meet and spend some time with such an amazing Christian woman.

Almost 2 weeks ago..

Today was the day after Mama Tara died- Laura, Arlee and I went to Mama Tara's to see if there was anything we could do and to spend time with the children. During the morning we spend time with the children and meeting Mama Tara's family, then we started helping prepare the meal. They kill a cow for lunch and have rice and yuka-so Laura did the meat preparing and I picked through rice. Laura came over when she was done and said I am coming back for the night to stay up all night with them. Earlier I was asked by a 16 year old, China if I was staying all night and I said I didn't think so but since Laura was so was I. When the food was done they made all the plates and I started pouring the drinks with Arlee and soon everyone was served and it was our turn to be served. I was nervous but didn't want to be rude so I ate lunch there and everyone who was serving sat down for the first time all day. It was getting late so we got in the car and came back to town and rested, ate dinner and packed a bag. I packed my bible, toilet paper, pepper spray, bug spray, snacks, water and my ipod. Laura and I hop in the car and off we went, we pull up and there's people everywhere. Laura sat with Linda and this other lady from the States so I put my bag with hers. And I went off to find China and some other teenagers-we listened to music, watched movies and they cried...I hugged. They made coffee and it smelled so good but looked so nasty. I love how everything is cooked over the fire pit, I love watching them do all the cooking stuff and being in the outside kitchen. Another cow was killed for the meal at midnight. The women were cooking rice again with yuka-I don't care for yuka. The workers started digging the hole in the yard, the preachers started to preach and the women started to cry out again. So I did what I do best hold a child, scratch a back and just watch. Trevor a 9 year old boy was on my lap, China was on one side of me and Wonky Tonky was on the other- at the main service which was at 9:30. Trevor looked up at me and said Mama Tara solomente dormendo(sorry I can barely say it so I know my spelling is off but I understand it) I started to explain to him that she wasn't only sleeping and when I looked down he was asleep. Then China was passed out and then Wonky Tonky. I was sitting on a counter top with my feet up on the arm of a pew and China on my legs and Wonky on my thigh it was so uncomfortable but I loved every minute of it. Mama Tara loved to watch the kids pile on me so I thought since she was in the room with us I'd make her heart smile again. I still had not gone up to the casket and I decided not to. Anyway finally midnight rolled around and we ate, the men kept digging and the preachers and women continued but her family who had been up the night before started to go to sleep. But they knew that Laura, Linda and me were not going to sleep... that's the thing with the staying up all night to stay with the body until they are buried. I went and watched the guys dig for a while and China came with me after she woke up and ate. The guys were doing shots of Platinum and smoking when it wasn't their turn to dig. China and I started talking-we talked about smoking, drinking and guys. Talked about babies and why I don't have one and why I am so old, she asked about Charlie if he was really mine because he pus his face in my chest like I am his mother she says. I said babies love to be close that's all, I had almost forgotten she met him and her question caught me off guard. We got bored so we came in and started to watch a movie but then I got bored and went and checked on Laura. She was sitting alone in the sala listening to the preacher and the singing. So I sat with her with my ipod on and she rested on my shoulder for a bit and then the sun came up. We made it through the night with Mama Tara. Laura and I hop in the car and we came home, I tried resting but couldn't and then we had to get back up for the funeral. I guess it's one of those situations you have to be there to understand but it just hit my heart so hard how much these children loved Mama Tara. Her kids, the kids she took in and the people she helped over the years. I pray one day I can be more like her and help so freely, love so openly and be carefree when I get old because I'll have loved ones around me.

At the Catholic church the service was nice and I felt comfortable in the church but I still don't know what's going on :( after the service we got in Laura's car and followed the parade of cars to Mama Tara's. Then the crying started again, her daughter Impara started- her love for her mom just made me cry. Then Impara's 12 years old daughter started crying out grandmother in Spanish and asking God why and it was heart breaking. Then after a couple hours of cooking in my pants in the sun they put her in the ground and Impara threw her body towards the casket and her husband and son had to catch her. Then it started to hit all the grandkids and the Mama Tara children that she was really gone and they all started to cry. It was horrible, Trevor came running into my arms because he realized she wasn't sleeping. They were all crying and I couldn't hold them all so I had as many as my body could touch. We stood there and cried as they poured cement over the wood and tarp they had put over her casket. I didn't know her long enough to cry for her being missed in my heart, I cried because the children lost their Mama and they were heart broken.

Learning life lessons everyday...

The last time I wrote I wrote about pure joy and how happy I was to be back here and be with my kids and to start a new preschool. The last few weeks have been everything but pure joy-tiring, long, hard, sad and a learning experience. I have learned to not get too comfortable, to not depend on worldly objects and I am still working on forgiveness. I say that my days are tiring, long and hard but it's a good feeling that comes with those feelings. A feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of one step closer to a day where all the children listen and a feeling of I will get a good night of sleep because I am so tired.

A couple Fridays ago I was robbed while I was asleep and they took what I thought was my most valuable things I had but I was wrong. I was left untouched-I still can hold and hug children, still pray and give thanks to God and can still walk, talk and smile. When I woke up and realized I had been robbed and they even took the phone off my pillow I was so upset so mad and wanted all my stuff back. Finally the next day I realized I woke up again, I was protected and I am thankful for that.

So school continued at Mama Tara's, visits to House of Hope still happened and great times at Morgan's feeding program were going on. And I was starting to feel better but still wanting my computer back nothing else just my computer. Then today on the way to the feeding program with Morgan a taxi driver stopped us and said there a guy riding around in my friends taxi. He said he's bring him buy my apt. in a bit so Morgan went on to the feeding program and I went home. It wasn't my computer it was the same everything just much smaller. When everyone left and it was just me I realized I was super sad but not that it wasn't my computer but that I was missing the feeding program with Morgan and the kids. I am learning it's not the amount of stuff I have that should make me happy its the amount of God's love that I share that should make me happy.

The feeling of pure joy :)

You know that feeling you get the first time you see Shamu jump up out of the water in the beginning of the show? Your heart is pounding with excitement, your face is lite with a smile that can be seen for rows. There wasn't a worry that could touch your mind because you are in that moment...a moment of pure joy. That's how it felt when I got back to Puerto Lempira. Of course that feeling came after the feeling of am I going to be sick? The landing is so rough in the small plane on a landing strip made of baseball field clay. The feeling of pure joy comes when you see the children and they greet you with big smiles. Lots of hugs and then the fight starts over who is going to hold your hand. It's the best feeling a person can feel- the feeling that you were missed, that you are remembered by name. Don't get me wrong, I had the most amazing time in the States with my family and friends. I miss them terribly but seeing my children again makes it a little more bearable.

The walk from my apartment to Mama Tara's House is a journey and when it rains it becomes a muddy journey. Also let me throw in there we are in rainy season, to be honest I think we are always in rainy season. But as soon as I heard my name being yelled and saw children with the most beautiful brown faces running towards me. I quickly forgot about the mud all over my favorite new orange shorts. Even though they were covered in sores, scabs and spots they were still happy, smiling and willing to love on me. So for 30 minutes that's just what we did. We hugged, kissed and hola must have been said a thousand times. But my favorite part was rubbing the bald heads of the little boys. After all the excitement I got a better look at the the spots and realized it was chicken pox. Before I left chicken pox was going through House of Hope and now it had made its way to Mama Tara's House. The children in House of Hope have a nurse and get creams from the States when they get stuff like this but not Mama Tara's children. They are the toughest bunch of children I've ever seen. But now that they have Linda a woman from the States living with them, creams will be introduced to the home. They have been using sugar water, plants and other home made remedies for illness and some work but most don't. All I have to say is these children are a lot braver than I am.

One of my favorite reunions was with the little boy you all fell in love with through my pictures and blogs-Charlie. I thought everyone would be interested in hearing how he is doing. While I was gone Charlie started to walk. I was very sad to miss it but so glad he started, it was well over due. After all the greetings and hugs at House of Hope with all the older children. Mia and Italy won the fight in holding my hands and they took me into the sala straight to Charlie. Charlie looked at me and turned around and walked away and in that moment my heart dropped. All I could say was Charlito, he stopped and turned with that big smile on his face and ran towards me. It was not really a run but more like a unstable fast walk. I picked him up and he went straight into my neck with his face like a day hadn't even past. He had a tight grip around my neck, he pulled his face back and looked at me and laughed that giggle that could change bad moods in seconds. He stayed there for the rest of the afternoon, it's amazing what one can accomplish with a small child attached to them. But then dinner time came and I had to put him at the table. And the loud scream of a Charlie tantrum came quick and stayed for a while. But Charlie isn't sick anymore, he isn't malnourished so he follows the schedule just like all the other children. I walked away with him screaming at the table and arms reaching for me. I've always been on the other side of that situation except with my littlest God brother Jack. Dropping him at the YMCA child development center a few times when he didn't want to go. It broke my heart to leave Jack then and it breaks my heart to leave Charlie now, but it has to be done. And even though I know it has to be done, I am just like any other caregiver who loves that child so I did a "creep by". I crept by Child Development to check on Jack then and I crept by the sala before I left House of Hope to check on Charlie . Of course they are fine, they always are but I still found myself having to think the same words I would tell the parents who would leave their child with me. It's harder on your heart than theirs...

Just in case you missed me at the Dean's hour at the Cathedral

 I am not someone who can perform a surgery to fix a cleft palate, I am not professionally trained to help anyone work through their past trauma or someone who has been ordained in the church. But I am a caregiver, I am a strong believer and I do have two capable hands...

For the past 5 months I have been using my hands to guide children towards Christ, to dig trenches to build a classroom and last but not least I use my hands to show love to these children who don't feel it enough. Children who have been abandoned, taken away or have no one to take care of them. I have prayed with and for these children every night I tucked them in. Before lunch everyday we have a devotion and they learn a bible verse to encourage them in their faith. But mainly I show Christ love through being a servant...digging trenches can be mighty humbling :) I know we have all heard this line once or twice in our lives but never have I felt this line to be so true-while I am doing all this in Honduras I am the one being served, being lifted and changed. I have learned a new saying while living in Puerta Lempira-Do what is asked of you and do it with a happy heart for Jesus. I have also learned a mothers love can not be replaced, faked or taught. I am not a mother but I have much love to give. Everyday I give hugs, kisses, snuggles and in return I get lice lol I give words of encouragement, lessons in how to behave and I say a lot of I love you's. I cheer at soccer games, I take children swimming on Sunday's after church and I make sure chores are and homework are done or there are consequence. I do lice treatments, put on Band-Aids and change diapers...I am not a mother but I am a servant.

You may ask yourself why do I even bother, how do I know any of this will change these children? Because I know a fantastic Christian and responsible dentist that grew up in a home where mission groups go and give love and guide little hands towards Jesus. And even if it's just one child who comes out of these homes a strong believer because of the love and guidance that I have shown then then that's enough because I made a difference for the glory of God. So I may not be a doctor, a counselor or a cannon but I am a missionary.