The last time I wrote I wrote about pure joy and how happy I was to be back here and be with my kids and to start a new preschool. The last few weeks have been everything but pure joy-tiring, long, hard, sad and a learning experience. I have learned to not get too comfortable, to not depend on worldly objects and I am still working on forgiveness. I say that my days are tiring, long and hard but it's a good feeling that comes with those feelings. A feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of one step closer to a day where all the children listen and a feeling of I will get a good night of sleep because I am so tired.
A couple Fridays ago I was robbed while I was asleep and they took what I thought was my most valuable things I had but I was wrong. I was left untouched-I still can hold and hug children, still pray and give thanks to God and can still walk, talk and smile. When I woke up and realized I had been robbed and they even took the phone off my pillow I was so upset so mad and wanted all my stuff back. Finally the next day I realized I woke up again, I was protected and I am thankful for that.
So school continued at Mama Tara's, visits to House of Hope still happened and great times at Morgan's feeding program were going on. And I was starting to feel better but still wanting my computer back nothing else just my computer. Then today on the way to the feeding program with Morgan a taxi driver stopped us and said there a guy riding around in my friends taxi. He said he's bring him buy my apt. in a bit so Morgan went on to the feeding program and I went home. It wasn't my computer it was the same everything just much smaller. When everyone left and it was just me I realized I was super sad but not that it wasn't my computer but that I was missing the feeding program with Morgan and the kids. I am learning it's not the amount of stuff I have that should make me happy its the amount of God's love that I share that should make me happy.
