Tuesday, January 14, 2014

It's a new year and I am back in Honduras!

This past year has been full of great times with the kids, fellowship with the other missionaries, eye opening experiences and lesson only God could have shown me here. 

In the last year and half I have gained the trust of over 100 children between Mama Tara's Orphanage, House of Hope and Morgan's feeding. We have had a lot of fun together-swimming, dancing, talking but in the beginning mainly sharing the common love language down here. Touch, the children crave to be touched-hugged, kissed, hold hands and sit on your lap but what they don't know is it's a perfect opportunity for me to pray for them. To open their hearts to the message I have come here to share with them. Because I wont be here forever to show them love but Jesus can forever live in their hearts and they can feel His love. After I gained their attention with all the fun things then they were ready to listen, after experiencing my love they were ready to understand His love. Because I could not do what I am doing, love as many as I love and understand all the pain here without Him. 

I dont know how this would be going here without the other missionaries or support-we cry together, pray for each other and are just there for each other whenever one is in need. I am so glad I grew up in the youth group so I knew how to be apart of this group as well. We share the word, we have worship together and talk about our highs and lows to know what each of us needs prayer for or for giving Praise. Some of the missionaries who have been in the field a long time have grown accustom to doing life here on their own. They've grown thick skin because they've seen a lot and don't cry for almost anything anymore. I pray for them frequently not only for their ministry but so I don't grow into a missionary who doesn't cry when I hear about an 11 year girl who is pregnant by her grandfather. I pray I never get so comfortable in this world that I expect help from a drug dealer, to whip a child with a cord because it's what they are use to for punishment nor do I want to be able to say I understand why children are abused because of poverty. I never want to not shed tears because I have seen so many babies die from malnourishment, I never will turn a hungry child away because all I have left is my own food and I wont get so wrapped up in this world that if my things get stolen I will grow cold to God's people here. I will except that I cant fix everyone, I cant heal anyone but I can show them God's love and pray they seek it for themselves. I have learned God breaks my heart for these people so I turn to him because only He can heal it. Only he can give me the hope, strength and love I need to endure the pain and sin that surrounds me.

I have loved so openly, freely and unconditionally here and its the most rewarding feeling ever. I have never been so heart broken, full of sorrow and empty as I have while here. I have never been so loved, truly happy and blessed as I have in the past year and half. My time here has been nothing but an amazing gift from God, a answered prayer I would even go as far as to say a miracle. I have been sick more than any person from the States who has lived here-even the ones who have been here over 12 years. I have had to leave to San Pedro Sula to have a camera down my throat, many blood test and a lot of pills yet I keep coming back here. God has shown me his words to be more true than I have ever realized...."I will not give you more than you can handle". He has turned me into a strong Christian women that I might not have realized in the States I could be.

And for all this I am thankful, I am in awe of His power and I am in love with His grace. I also am thankful to all of y'all for your belief in me, your continues support and prayer. I pray that you are able to support me in 2014 while I am here in Puerto Lempira in the mission field at House of Hope. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I know you all are very busy and it means a lot to me.